Free for all

So, “American Idol” apparently has another scandal on its hands.

This from The Associated Press:

"A close friend of “American Idol” semi-finalist Antonella Barba says that the aspiring singer is not the subject of some graphically sexual pictures purported to be of her that were posted on the Internet last week.

The pictures include one of four women posing topless at the beach, their hands covering their breasts, and others of a woman engaged in a sexual act. The postings were anonymous.
Barba's best friend, Amanda Coluccio of Holmdel, with whom she auditioned and won a trip to Hollywood for the second round before being eliminated, told The Star-Ledger of Newark that the less graphic photos are of Barba, but denied she is pictured in the pornographic ones.

"The really bad ones aren't her. I've studied them," Coluccio told The Star-Ledger for Monday's newspapers. "It's not her nose. She's never had (acrylic nail) tips (like the woman in the photo) in her life. She's the least slutty person I know."

The least "slutty" person she knows. Ahem. You can hear the class and intelligence just oozing out of these two, can't you?

As the hometown of this latest scandal “victim” rallies around her, this is what one local boy had to say:

"It's the way this town is: Everybody knows everything about their friends," said Mark Dillon, 17. "At least half the people in this town have pictures of their friends on the toilet. I've personally seen at least 20. It's only because she's on TV that they're online."

Pictures. Of friends. On the toilet. Moving on...

"Everyone has incriminating photos of one sort or another, and you never know when it's going to turn around and bite you on the you-know-what. It's a shame you can't just live your life and not have to worry about something like this becoming public."

This from Jacqui Reid, whose daughter took violin lessons from Barba and still considers Barba to be a ... role model.

When did any of this become normal? Incriminating photos? Pictures of friends on the toilet? Half naked in the wonderful tradition of Girls Gone Wild, but mind you, not slutty, pictures posted all over the internet?

Okay...

"Everyone has incriminating photos of one sort or another..."

Well, of course they do. Which reminds me, I should really take all those incriminating pictures of myself off of MY SPACE.

The article concluded with the suggestion that this most recent scandal should make kids stop and think about what they're putting on the internet.

What they're putting on the internet?!

That's just the tip of the iceberg, my friend.

The fact that they don't see anything wrong with taking these pictures in the first place is what I find most disturbing.

Is this normal for kids these days? Take naked pictures of yourself, take pictures of your bodily functions, take pictures of yourself acting like the moron that you are...and be famous on You Tube, My Space, what have you! Voila! Instant fame!

We are raising a bunch of stupid, moronic, greedy, fame crazed, morally retarded individuals who wouldn't know how to behave like civilized, normal humans if you paid them. And mind you, they would only attempt such a feat if you paid them.

I am tired of this. Parents have forgotten how to raise children, they allow the internet to do that for them. Why? Because parents trust their children. Trust? Their brains aren't even fully developed yet and you think putting that amount of trust in them is going to prove something? Kids are stupid. That's what they do. Stop trusting them and find out what they're doing in their free-time.

"I trust you to do the right thing." Trust? You can barely trust adults to do the right thing, let alone a hormone driven, moody, out of control fifteen year old who considers Paris Hilton to be a role model, spends her free-time on My Space, wouldn't know proper grammar for all the IM speak she uses and demands that she have the freedom of a cell phone and a car that you pay for on her sixteenth birthday.

There is no such thing as a boundary anymore, especially not a moral one. It's a free for all. If it makes you feel good and makes others laugh, then by all means, do it.

We've become a society of shmucks, and not a single person seems bothered by it.

Skeptics, oh my!

According to a new documentary about to air on the Discovery Channel, the bones of Jesus Christ and his family (his wife Mary Magdalene, his father Joseph, his son Judah, among others) have been found and supposedly, positively identified in the city of Jerusalem.

What?

No! It can't be! What are you saying? I don't understand! Are you saying my entire belief system has been based on nothing but lies and folklore perpetuated by the early Christian Church to milk me out of my money and provide me with a momentary sense of well-being? Well, then the very foundation on which I live my daily life has been shaken to the core!

*Gasp! Whimper! Sigh!*

Are you people stupid or something?

Anyone who believes this story and allows it to shake their faith obviously had a pretty shaky basis to begin with.

Please. Like this is something new?

Oh no! They're calling the very foundation of Christianity into question...AGAIN! Whatever shall we do? Run away and hide and pretend like we don't hear them?

La-la-la. I can't HEAR you!

Pull yourself together and get a backbone and figure out what you stand for.

Or become an atheist. Whichever is easier.

Mitt Romney

Could someone please explain to me why I hate this man?

I hate him. I don't even know if I can bring myself to say I intensely dislike him because my disgust with him is so irrationally fierce.

Whenever I hear anything about him, I get insanely worked up.

This is all entirely too odd because the man's a Mormon. You would think I'd be the chairman of his campaign.

But no. And in fact, the mere suggestion of such a thing makes me squirmy on oh-so-many levels.

It's gotten so bad, that were it to come down to him and Hilary for the 2008 presidential race, I'd plaster my car with "Hilary for President" bumper stickers and wait impatiently for Bill to take over as First Man.

Favorite hobbies

My coworker and I decided the other day that the two best inventions ever are sleeping and eating. These "inventions" are so great, in fact, that we might just be in the running of referring to them as "hobbies".

Seriously. I see no reason why I shouldn't be hugely obese by now.

Choo-choo

There’s this train. It’s called the marriage train. Everyone I know is on it, and it feels like they’re waiting for me to get on. Especially the boy. It’s like he’s trying to tell me, “This train is pulling away from the station and you’re either on it or your not.”

I don’t want to be on the train. I’m not even very sure I want to leave the station. But I don’t know if that’s an option anymore. If I’m at the station, I’m there for a reason, and that reason is presumably to catch the train. But why would I be there to catch a train I don’t necessarily want to ride on? Maybe I’m just at the station to pick someone up or meet someone there. But nobody ever thinks of that, do they? No. I’m expected to catch the train and get with the program. But I’m afraid if I get on the train, I’m going to panic and step off and get into my tuck and roll position once it’s pulled away from the station.

I don’t think I’m ready to catch this train. I just don’t want to take that train ride yet. Did anyone bother to ask me if I’d rather catch a cab or take a flight or maybe just drive? Maybe that's not open for discussion. Catching that train is just how it’s done. Why would you want to do it any other way?

Name Calling

My boy and I have an unusual way of showing each other affection.

Generally it comes by way of calling each other names.

We've even made it into a game where we come up with as many insulting names as we can, and whoever runs out of insults first, loses.

It goes a little something like this:

"Jerk."

"Moron."

"Idiot."

"Butthead."

And eventually one of us has to either repeat a word or come up with something lame enough to determine the loser.

It's awesome.

Even when we're not playing the game, we're still really good at being mean to each other. We sometimes have conversations like this:

"Shut up. I hate you."

"You shut up. You're such an idiot."

"You're an even bigger idiot."

"Hey, remember that time I loved you? Yeah, pretty sure I'm over it."

"Well, I've been over it for a long time. And I hate you more."

The thing is, I'm not sure we know how to interact with each other without making fun of each other.

I once watched a Dr. Phil with a couple on it who had a habit of calling each other names. They were horrible names, but you've never seen a couple more in love. They were the cutest things ever, and their name-calling was just a way of showing each other affection. Dr. Phil called it "coding" because they used code in communicating with each other.

I guess that's what we do.

I've heard from other couples who are shocked at our behavior, who would never call each other such names, who would never kid around like that. They think it's awful.

I think couples that don't do that...are...honestly? Just a little weird. And really, really boring. If you can't have fun with each other, if you can't joke around...what's the point?

I win

Why do I win and what exactly did I win at?

The Super Bowl.

Duh.

I cheered for the right team...

And the right team won....

Which therefore makes them MY team...

Which by associationg makes me a winner too.

So, I win.

Honestly, though, I gotta say I enjoyed the Super Bowl way more because of the significance it held being Black History Month and all.

The first African American coaches to coach teams in the Super Bowl? That's just awesome. And about time too.

Dish Racks

First of all, is that one word, or two?

Dishracks? Or Dish Racks?

I'm gonna go with the latter...

Not that it matters...

Come to think of it though, do people more commonly refer to them as DRYING racks?

Whatever. I don't. Drying rack sounds so very...Amish.

ANYWAY...I digress. More to the point, is anyone else as annoyed by these as I am?

These annoying little buggars sit on the edge of your sink as holding places for those dishes that need to be dried but cannot be put into the dishwasher.

I gotta say though, they're not very effective holding areas. Specifially for bowls. Sure, they have space for the dishes and the silverware and the glasses, but what about the bowls? Sure, you can lean the bowls haphazardly up against one another, but they don't fit correctly. I would like my bowls to fit correctly into the freakin' dish rack! Why is this so much to ask? Over the how many years that dish racks have been manufactured, has no one ever said, "Hm...how can we make this more convenient? How can we make them more useful? How can we add a space so peoples' bowls fit correctly?"

WHY HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THIS????

I suppose the only reason I'm particularly irked by this is because we don't have a dishwasher at our house.

I know. I'll wait for your initial shock and gasping noises to stop before proceeding with my story.

Okay. We never have had a dishwasher.

This has never been an issue for me, really.

I was never ashamed of this fact. I didn't stop inviting friends over so they wouldn't find out my dirty little secret. I didn't know it was a point of embarrassment.

Truth is, I don't understand the point of the dishwasher.

Washing dishes isn't a tough chore. Seriously. I actually find it rather soothing to be honest with you. And I don't understand why people whine about having to "hand-wash" their dishes. Why is this so difficult for some people? It truly takes 5-10 minutes max to do them...and doing them by hand probably gets them much cleaner than sticking them in the dishwasher would.

I've come to despise dishwashers. When I'm visiting my sister I find it ridiculous that they put in a load of dishes to run for an hour, making a heck of a racket, wasting all kinds of energy, and taking much longer than it would if you filled the sink up with dish liquid and did it by hand.

HOW IS THIS MORE CONVENIENT?

Yeah, I get it. We're lazy. Why do dishes when the machines can do it for you?

But back to the whole dish rack thing...all I want is a dish rack that provides room for bowls too. Nice, wide slots to place bowls in...followed by nice narrow ones for plates...those hangy things for the glasses and a basket for the silverware.

I haven't found one of these yet.

Maybe I haven't looked hard enough.

Maybe I need to invent one myself.

But alas, I'm pretty sure it would be obsolete in this "Dishwasher Driven" society we live in.